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a woman
want?
experiment. I sent an email to all
the women I know asking:
What does a woman want?
I described my own wishes (printed in
the column on the right), then invited
them to share their own.
You’ll find their thoughtful
responses below.
There's a place for you to enter
your thoughts below.
her own thoughts, dream her own dreams -
A walk by the sea - A lighted makeup mirror
with a magnifying side - A week at a spa - A
day of you-are-important-to-me from
someone who is important to her - A man,
partner or friend who shares her
enthusiasm, cares what she’s talking about,
who listens and speaks with interest and
understanding -One lovely meal at a
candlelit table where no one will think or
say, “That’s too expensive,” or “Just order
one thing.” - Flowers on the table (at home)
- The surprise of discovering that someone
else has made (or ordered)dinner when
she gets home from work--better still, the
table is set, the carpet has been vacuumed,
the kids are scrubbed - She wants her kids
to be happy, to have friends, to be creative
and excited about life - A beautiful home
(size is not important but order, cleanliness,
beauty and grace are) - A lovely cottage
garden - A vacation home to retreat to (she
need not own this home, though that would
be nice. It just has to be there, waiting for
her to inhabit for a week now and then) - A
black cable-knit cashmere sweater - Real
Pearls - Real diamond studs - An eternity
ring - A jewelry box to put it in - The
experience of knowing she is radiantly
beautiful and the photo to prove it - Decaf
black tea that actually tastes like tea -
French pastries - A rich red wine (that
doesn’t trigger a migraine.) - Venice,
including a gondola ride even though its
corny- Paris - At least one cruise in her
lifetime - A massage now and then - A
collection of something she loves - a sense
of herself
name = Helen
comments = Ditto to Debra Tharp, I could not have said it better!
name = Kryta Deere
comments = I want to live my life in harmony with nature and in
community with like-minded people. I want to pass on the wisdom I
was privileged to acquire in my long, eventful life. I want to tell other
women that love conquers fear and that mistakes are nothing but
valuable learning experiences in disguise.
name = Dawn
comments = To understand enough to be content yet still be in awe. To
embrace today and truly mean 'no regrets'. To give without waiting to
receive. To be secure enough to be loved and to love. Just to smile...
name = Debra Tharp
comments = This woman would like to be completely secure in herself.
Reliant only on God for her life's needs. For her children to believe not
only in God but to live their lives believing in themselves and not to
rely on others to make them happy. I would like to make a difference in
someone's life with my writings. I would like to be loved
unconditionally and return that love. The simple pleasures of life are
truly the best and is all that this woman requires, but anything more
that is given would be divine. A weekly massage absolutely! And 30 or
40 lbs. less would be grand. Okay, a whole lot less wrinkles, too!
name = Amber Whitman
comments = There are so many things I want. I have always wanted
someone to adore me. I want my family to be healthy and happy. I want
to be secure and not worry about money. I want to lose some weight. I
want to be able to live a fuller life. I want to pursue my passion of
writing and finally receive more revenue from it. I want peace in this
chaotic world!
name = Dawn
comments = My dream as a woman is to live a substantial life. A life
that is productive, passionate, charitable and open minded. To be
whatever I wanted to be if I put my mind to it, and never give up. To go
every where and be everything to everyone and be the best at it. And
after all of this..I'm content in knowing that what I want most is to be
a great mom.
name = Stacey
comments = I'll tell you what this woman wants: to know herself in a
way that reveals her mystery, power and grace - while maintaining an
element of surprise... I love it when I surprise myself!
name = Lezlie
comments = To be able to live my life as an example without ever
thinking, "I'm living my life as an example."
name = June, Springfield
comments = I really want to see each of my children in a happy, healthy
relationship with a caring partner. I won't always be around to help
them pick up the pieces of their lives and even though their siblings
are willing to help, I know how important a significant other can be in
smoothing the rough road of life. Other than that, I want to laugh
more, finish writing my history and money enough for a good massage.
name = anonymous in Idaho
comments = That's more than i want. and less. I want someone to ride
with and someone who will help with the dogs and horses... and i want
to go to the movies once in a while.. I don't need a lot of that stuff. like
the chef and the villa......i sure would like venice and paris. but
especially after this week, i am grateful for my abundance of comforts.
and feel I could not seriously ask for more......companionship
sometimes would be nice....but i love being alone, too
name = Hilarie, Connecticut
comments = Laundry that has been washed, folded and put away by
someone other than her without being asked. Not being the only one
who sees what needs to be done around the house. - Children who
appreciate and acknowledge (at least once in a while) all the sacrifices
parents make for them.
name = Jamie, NY
comments = I really just want to feel happy and secure, and able to
speak up about what I feel when I feel it - I want to be able to talk
about PMS and have major mood swings without it being annoying to
myself because I think I'm just annoying others - I want to be
comfortable with sometimes feeling "on the edge." I wish there were
more understanding of what being bloated and sore once a month feels
like. - I wish the media would stop making ridiculous claims about
what I want, and insisting that I should change when it doesn't seem
necessary - I wish the media didn't think I have to compartmentalize
my food into "virtuous," "evil," and "in moderation only" - I wish I didn't
have to "blast tummy flab in two weeks or less"
name = Taryn, New Jersey
comments = A wrinkle cream that really works - Rose-colored glasses
to soften life's hard edges - A roaring fire, a cozy chair, a soft afghan, a
good book, a glass of fine red wine, a lovely piece of chocolate, and the
time to spend relishing them all - A good cry that washes her soul
clean - A good laugh that sends her spirit soaring - A hand to hold - A
song that makes her sing out loud - A fast car, an open road, and the
company of someone special who will remind her that it's the journey,
not the destination that really matters - To feel beautiful at every age
name = Jen, Brooklyn, NY
comments = What this woman really wants/may already have some of
it/ but what this woman values: - a partner who works on herself and
is not afraid to take on her hard stuff and make changes - a partner
who listens. She doesn't always have to agree, but to respectfully
listen to my needs, struggles and dreams - a partner who can receive
love and support - to be occasionally surprised with a thoughtful
gesture, like doing a chore that I usually do or remembering something
I said was important to me and acting on it - to feel sexy and wanted -
to connect with my body: for me that means to feel that I can work out
and strengthen my body, feel toned healthy, strong - to have a partner
who respects my limitations but who doesn't expect too little of me - to
travel at least once a year to a new place to explore with my partner
and son - to return to a favorite vacation spot at least once a year that
feels like home to us - to have few really good girl FRIENDS I can
confide in and really go through life with - to have a few really good boy
FRIENDS I can confide in and really go through life with - to have a
close and always evolving relationship with my sisters - to have a close
and always evolving relationship with my parents - for my son to feel
loved and honored for who he is and who knows the importance of
treating others that way - a partner who smells great - a clean, stable
home to relax and rejuvenate in. For my son to feel like he has a
clean, stable home to relax and rejuvenate in - for my son to feel that
his life is bountiful: filled with love, challenges, stimulation and the
"things" he has and is given provide him with a sense that he is seen
and understood - to feel that I'm making the most of everyday - to know
the value of getting the mundane things done and of being conscious of
each moment I am lucky to be alive and loved - to like the city I live in.
To feel curious about it and stimulated by it, and at home in it
Name = Joy, Ontario, Canada
comments = To leave a legacy to friends and family of ART. The art of
integrity, honesty, loyalty, friendship and the art of enjoying the beauty
of life. - To be in touch with every part of herself. Especially the little
girl that always dwells there. To let her be free - To be at one (in
harmony) with those that are most important to her heart - For her
children to be able to mature, be skilled in life, even move away if
necessary but always be close in heart - To be accepted for who she is,
and invited to grow in who SHE feels she needs to become
name = Valerie, New York
comments = A big field of flowers (that she is not allergic to) - An
Italian villa by the beach - A private Italian health food gourmet chef -
A dumpster to get rid of unwanted stuff and a feng shui practitioner to
help.
name = Gail, Hawaii
comments = An unconditional hug or hold from someone who really
cares and has no other agenda after that hug or hold.
Name = Susanne, NY
comments = World peace
name = Linda, Ontario, Canada
comments = What this woman wants: To walk with God